Take a minute to read through the journey of what led Alana to discover naturism and how she has changed over the last 2 years of exploring the lifestyle.
Where do I start? My naturist journey has been going on for about two years now and I am for sure not the same girl I was when I started.
“Myself and a dear friend of mine had chatted about the freedom of becoming naturists for many years. I never believed him when he said that I would be a perfect fit, free spirited as I was. That in fact was a lie, I was a bag of nerves and was always over thinking.”
A lot of things in my life had changed months before I hit the woods for the first time. I needed to reclaim my body for myself and be proud of what I was given by the universe. I had no idea where to start. In my head I literally could hear the words "fuck it, you've got nothing to lose!"
So we met up at this beautiful forest. We found a spot away from everyone. The nerves both leaked out of us. Who was going to utter the words "let's get the kit off then" first?
It was me, of course it was! I mutter shyly that we should just take this leap of faith and take our clothes off. I was standing naked as the day I was born in the middle of this lush green forest on a muggy July day! I had no idea what I was doing or how to enjoy this moment but all I knew was that it felt incredible, this was it, my light bulb moment of freedom!
I just knew in those few hours my life will completely be changed. I needed to get out again and really enjoy the moment without worry! The second time I headed to a local river by myself and this time there was no nerves, I just whipped my kit off and jumped into the sun warmed River! I lay floating just on the surface as the water gently rushed past me and the bright sun beamed its beautiful warmth over me and I just felt freedom like I never have before. The pure uncensored connection I felt in that moment was so out of this world!
I sit awhile letting the warm July air dry my naked body and listen to the birds tweet in their trees. I knew from that moment that I had been given the chance to see the world as beautiful in every small detail. The singular white fluffy cloud that rolled slowly over the bright blue sky, the gentle ripples of the river water bouncing off the pebble bank and the way my pale white skin reflected the suns rays.
"I was given the chance to see the world in every small detail."
Over the next few months, if the sun was out I was out. Finding new places in my local area that I never knew existed. Each time my attention to throwing my clothes off grew. I drove down a tiny country Welsh road over looking my favorite castle, when I stumbled across the most unusual looking trees all twisted and beautiful. Slamming hard on my brakes, I pulled over on to the grass.
I couldn't resist the beauty of this place. Setting up my tripod and phone to take some photos of this place, I launched my clothes off and went to stand by these beautiful trees. I must have been there for about half an hour. Not a single person came down this small dirt road. The next thing I knew there was a postie in his bright red van, stopped in the middle of the road as I was bollocks naked just smiling at him. I didn't know what else to do so I raised my hand ever so slightly and waved at him. I could see the little chuckle creep across his face as he waved back and drove on. I giggled to myself and thought "what on earth is this postie thinking right now?"
Carrying on with my hike through the mountains over looking the castle, I came across a herd of wild Welsh horses. I have the greatest fear of horses, since I was about 11 years old when I got thrown off a huge brown and white horse, it traumatized me for years. Seeing these horses being wild and free roaming my homeland, something sparked in me. A whisper in the winds 'don't let the fear win!' taking a deep long slow breath, I found myself casually taking off my clothes and walking towards these wild horses. My heart pulsing out of my chest with fear. A white horse slowly came closer to me as if it sensed my fear. We stood meters apart from each other for about 5 minutes, I felt calm in his presence, the rest of the herd also came a bit closer. We somehow were connected. Our wildness and freedom must have drawn us together for this incredible trauma realising freedom. Then as if nothing happened, they went on their merry way. Leaving me in complete awe of their beauty and wondered why I ever held onto this fear?
Getting nude in nature by this point has now become such a huge part of my life! Every chance I could get, rain or shine I would be out with my bright pink hiking boots to find new and beautiful places. However it wasn't until I came to the woods, not even a 5 minute walk where the magic truly began for me.
Nude is Normal
The heavens hadn’t stopped pouring down with Welsh winter rain. For those who do not know a Welsh winter is brutal. It rains from October until April! It's cold, it's dark and it's very wet, so the chance of getting out during these winter months is very slim. One day the sun made a very rare feature in the grey skies. I knew I needed to get out, but where? Everywhere would be muddy to hell and back! I had driven past this little forest for most of my life. So this day I decided it's better than nothing and it won't be special at all! Oh boy was I wrong! I sat in this forest with the winter winds and the sun peaking through the leaves and danced across my face. I remember breathing it all in. I was finally free. I was in a place that felt like home and nothing could stop me, not the cold, not the wetness, not the dark night sky rolling in! I just sat feeling the pulse of the earth through my veins with every inch of my naked body connected to this place, and I felt alive for the first time in my life. I mean proper alive, not just happy but every emotion running wild in my body at the same time.
Starting this journey, I didn't know what to expected and I hid my beauty away from the world, with dyed red long hair. It was my protection from all the abuse that had been thrown at me. If I looked confident people would believe that I was even though inside I wasn’t at all confident. Getting out into nature made me grow in confidence daily and not just because people liked my photos on Instagram but because I was seeing my own body in a way that I never imagined before. My body had become part of the landscape that I was photographing and then looking back at the photos afterwards made me understand that beauty is all around but only those with eyes wide open can see it. Don't get me wrong, when you have been bullied, abused or emotionally battered about your body, it doesn’t simply go away over night. There have been some photos that I haven't been able to look at because those words or actions flow back to me. But now I have the mental energy to realise that my body is my own and my journey to self love and acceptance will be bumpy but I can always pick myself up!
One of the best things to come out of this journey is finding like minded people who love to get naked in nature too! I have some really beautiful connections with some of these people. The support and the love I feel from this group of people is out of this world! They understand the beauty of ditching your clothes to connect! I have been able to connect with people all over the world and make lasting friendships, none of which would be possible without throwing the rule book firmly out of the window!
So the day arrived when I no longer needed my long flaming fake red hair of protection! Chop chop my hair fell to the floor around me. The liberation and the freedom I felt from chopping my mop was profound! The first thought was I can't wait to get out in nature with my new hair and body all naked! Here it bloody goes! I take my kit off with my newly cut hair, my hair color was natural for the first
time in years. I can't remember where I was or even how I came across this place! I fling my arms high in the air and tears run down my chops. I'd cut away my past self. I was no longer the girl who hid or was shy. I was now the confident person I had pretended to be for years! I let go of what people thought about me, I let go of pleasing other people, I let go of being too scared to try new things. My thirst for life has never been so much. I watch the sunset when I can just because I don't want to miss the beautiful moment.
The mental health benefits of discovering naturism was life changing! Actually sitting here writing this now 2 years in, it probably saved my life. It changed me in such profound ways. I no longer questioned why my body or my mind wasn't good enough or why I wasn’t beautiful like others. In truth I have found my sense of who I am as a person by doing this. I know that's a bold claim for just taking your clothes off in the wild, but it makes you see life differently. It makes you realize how small your problems are in comparison to the world of beauty. There's no secret that on my Instagram account @thecelticwarrior8, that I have been open and honest about my mental struggles. I had a break down on the 23rd of December 2019 and that moment I felt something just snap in my brain. I cried solidly for about 2 weeks, I didn't shower or eat for even longer. As I am writing this it's Christmas eve 2021 so nearly two years after that day. And lord, my mental health has never been better.
I started meditating not long after my break down, honestly I didn't believe it would work for me not one bit! After many weeks of practice I could start to see the benefits. Things that once bothered me faded away into nothing. The way I saw the world changed! My mediation will always fall in and out of practice like the waves on a choppy sea but I know it's always there. I think the biggest thing I've learned is to adapt to follow my own needs. I began to do what I like to call tree mediation. I walk through the woods wild and free in my nakedness and I feel the pulse of the earth until it guides me to a tree. Going to sound like a crazy person but, I ask the tree if we can share energies. Placing my hands on the trunk of the tree and starting to breathe slowly and deeply until I can feel the tree and myself connect. In my darkness of my eyes and closed off brain I can imagine that my feet have sprouted roots, that merge with the tree in front of me then my beautiful rosy flowery roots slowly grow out towards all the other trees until our roots are all one massive, messy and magnificent root system. In those moments are pure bliss and I feel connected to the earth so deeply. This practice always makes me so happy and the energy of this weird creation will last for weeks and weeks! I close it up by thanking the tree for sharing with me.
When I was a child my grandmother would always make me run around the park hugging the biggest trees, she would try and catch me saying "don't leave the tree until you feel happy," she would say through grinning teeth, magical eyes and a laughter that would bring joy to the coldest of hearts! I think my grandmother imprinted alot of 'hippie' things on me without me knowing and honestly I'm so blessed to have this woman in my life. Have you got someone who loved you so fiercely they make an imprint on you?
For me, I don't really enjoy the focus being on me. I will go to a log cabin on my own for my birthday so people can't make a fuss over me. I don't like attention to be on me, so writing this is very strange. But someone I love has just told me that I could inspire anyone. I mean I'm not an inspiration although I've had a few comments to suggest I am. I'm not, I struggle, I love, I learn and I make mistakes like everyone. But what I have found that works for me is stop being so hard on your damn self! Enjoy life and all the wonderful nude moments you can, because you don't get those back. Hold them in your heart with a fire that keeps pushing you to be better.
Follow more of my journey @thecelticwarrior8